He's posh. He's full of himself. And he's prone to lamely risqué quips such as "If that was any fresher I'd have to spank it". But he's not Huge Furry-Witteringballs. Which makes Valentine Warner, the "chef by trade, greedy by nature" presenter of What to Eat Now (7.30pm, BBC2, 7 July), alright in my book.
In the first episode of his second series celebrating the best of British seasonal food and drink, he deftly whipped up mouthwatering barbecue nosh in between forays to find the tastiest and freshest beef and lobster around.
Well, I say deftly. A huge part of Warner's charm is his bumbling Boris Johnson-esque persona. After showing us how to set up a proper barbecue - think a Jenga-style construction of wood and charcoal - and preparing a delicious-looking charred baby courgette and chanterelle mushroom combo, Warner headed off to Cambridge to procure some beef and bumble about a bit more.
Fortunately there was someone even more eccentric to bumble about with. Angelika von Heimendahl has taken advantage of common land laws to turn swaths of the city into grazing land for her 60 Red Poll cows. She seems proud of her cattle, especially number 21, which was apparently unusually friendly for a cow (especially one destined for the butcher's knife), though God only knows what prompted Warner to wander around the city towing a cow of a totally different breed.
Thankfully, he soon adjourned once more to the barbecue. Now, I'm a talent with the tongs but I've never attempted anything like this. The slab of sirloin served with a chimichurri sauce looked divine (though, Valentine, when a nearby cow mooed, it was not because it "approved" of you cooking its pal).
But the cows were nothing compared with the lobsters. Who knew you could hypnotise the little fellas by putting them into a yoga position so they don't get all upset when dispatched in boiling water? Apparently they also taste better because they're relaxed. I reckon the yoga move just paralysed them though - and the poor things had to put up with Warner sniggeringly taunting them with sick jokes. Oh, Valentine, you're such a card!
In the first episode of his second series celebrating the best of British seasonal food and drink, he deftly whipped up mouthwatering barbecue nosh in between forays to find the tastiest and freshest beef and lobster around.
Well, I say deftly. A huge part of Warner's charm is his bumbling Boris Johnson-esque persona. After showing us how to set up a proper barbecue - think a Jenga-style construction of wood and charcoal - and preparing a delicious-looking charred baby courgette and chanterelle mushroom combo, Warner headed off to Cambridge to procure some beef and bumble about a bit more.
Fortunately there was someone even more eccentric to bumble about with. Angelika von Heimendahl has taken advantage of common land laws to turn swaths of the city into grazing land for her 60 Red Poll cows. She seems proud of her cattle, especially number 21, which was apparently unusually friendly for a cow (especially one destined for the butcher's knife), though God only knows what prompted Warner to wander around the city towing a cow of a totally different breed.
Thankfully, he soon adjourned once more to the barbecue. Now, I'm a talent with the tongs but I've never attempted anything like this. The slab of sirloin served with a chimichurri sauce looked divine (though, Valentine, when a nearby cow mooed, it was not because it "approved" of you cooking its pal).
But the cows were nothing compared with the lobsters. Who knew you could hypnotise the little fellas by putting them into a yoga position so they don't get all upset when dispatched in boiling water? Apparently they also taste better because they're relaxed. I reckon the yoga move just paralysed them though - and the poor things had to put up with Warner sniggeringly taunting them with sick jokes. Oh, Valentine, you're such a card!
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