Fat people who sit next to you on planes are annoying, but fat people that lose a load of weight and can’t wait to tell you about it are even worse. Still, Food Unwrapped (Channel 4, 13 June, 8pm) dedicated almost a whole show to them.
To be fair, anyone about to spend their time near-naked in front of strangers on the beach or by the pool this summer is probably keen to lose a pound or two. And if you do need to lose it fast, and you don’t mind putting it all back on while you eat chips for seven days on a sunlounger, we learned existing solely on miso soup for a week will probably do it.
The trouble is, that would be a nightmare. I quite like miso soup, but couldn’t eat it exclusively. And if that means my fellow holidaymakers vomit at my appearance while I flop around the pool this summer, so be it. Although it wasn’t all bad. We started seeing lots of pasta, food of the gods. Can I smother it in cream, cheese and crispy pancetta and get ripped in time for August? No. I have to eat it plain with diced vegetables. Oh.
Then the show investigated ‘calorie-negative’ foods, like cucumber, melon and celery, all of which are high in water and fibre, and very low in calories. You burn more calories eating it than you ingest, which is fine, but it’s hardly a pepperoni pizza, is it? Life is too short for this horror.
But, it must be said, obesity is not good for you. So if you are a bit chunky and that makes you sad, this show did have some good tips on how to cheer up when the time comes to strip off in front of strangers in the sunshine. Bon voyage!