Oscar night is excruciating. As the winners are announced, cameras spy on those who missed out. Employing all the skills of the thespian trade, actors still struggle to hide the disappointment on their faces.

That had nothing, however, on the agony of watching Nicky Campbell unveiling - in reverse order - the winners of the Watchdog supermarket poll last Monday.

Wheeling the supermarket reps into BBC TV Centre, he propped them up on stools previously used on the set of Blind Date and kept them hanging on for what seemed like hours before - surprise, surprise (wrong show, Cilla, but you know what I mean) - he chose Waitrose, from Bracknell.

“Aren’t you going to clap?” Campbell asked the other ‘contestants’ - showing the same glee he doubtless displayed as a child when practising his technique using ants and a magnifying glass. Some of the contestants nervously joined in, lest they be seen as poor losers. Others retained a face bordering on thunder.

So, what can we learn from the Watchdog poll? It’s full of insights: how much the average household spends; strong evidence of increased promiscuity, both in the choice of supermarket and the variety on a weekly basis; further signs of trouble at Tesco; a clear indication of the growing importance (as if we needed it) of price.

It also tells us that, as with so many surveys, Watchdog viewers are aspirational - choosing Waitrose, one rather feels, in much the same way we would choose the Caribbean over Cornwall.

But the survey tells us most about Watchdog and the BBC. The decision not to weight the sample (see p14) means the results were clearly non-representative. What do you say to that, Nicky? Eh? Eh?