Those fortunate enough to have spotted me on my rounds through the corridoors of power this week may have noticed an unusual spring in my step. No, wicked cynics, my levity of spirit is not associated with the demise of Peter Hain, nor is it the result of one or two well-placed short-selling orders at Société Generale. Nor even is it the happy memory of my recent impromptu birthday party with a dozen or so of Ashley Cole's closest friends.
No, the most delicious schadenfreude I enjoyed was at the expense of the moderately fragrant but utterly bewildered Dame Deirdre Hutton of the FSA. The spin machinery at the Department of Heartburn attained gyroscopic speeds as my dear colleague the Rt. Hon. Alan Johnson prepared to announce a) an outbreak of love and understanding among retailers and food producers on the thorny topic of nutritional labelling, and b) his own undoubted innocence, alongside that of Messrs Hain, Harman, Cobbly and all, in the latest election funding row.
The trouble was, as Minister Responsible for Eliminating Fat Bastards, Johnno had failed to notice Deirdre's best efforts to persuade Tesco, Unilever, Innocent et al to adopt traffic light labelling had come to nowt. So the FSA left a red-faced Johnson to do the meeja with SFA to announce and 10 minutes with John Humphrys to do it in. He must have been thankful he had to deal with donors when the news was so slim on dealing with doners.
With the nation guffawing over his free handouts for fatties, it left me to ponder: how long can it be before Gordo has no option but to elevate his most loyal Minister of State, ie moi, to the cabinet? Consider: even as energy costs, mortgage rates et al spiral, the ONS has just announced a relative halving of the price of food over the past 50 years. And you just can't argue with a track record like that.
Pumsey for president, say I.
No, the most delicious schadenfreude I enjoyed was at the expense of the moderately fragrant but utterly bewildered Dame Deirdre Hutton of the FSA. The spin machinery at the Department of Heartburn attained gyroscopic speeds as my dear colleague the Rt. Hon. Alan Johnson prepared to announce a) an outbreak of love and understanding among retailers and food producers on the thorny topic of nutritional labelling, and b) his own undoubted innocence, alongside that of Messrs Hain, Harman, Cobbly and all, in the latest election funding row.
The trouble was, as Minister Responsible for Eliminating Fat Bastards, Johnno had failed to notice Deirdre's best efforts to persuade Tesco, Unilever, Innocent et al to adopt traffic light labelling had come to nowt. So the FSA left a red-faced Johnson to do the meeja with SFA to announce and 10 minutes with John Humphrys to do it in. He must have been thankful he had to deal with donors when the news was so slim on dealing with doners.
With the nation guffawing over his free handouts for fatties, it left me to ponder: how long can it be before Gordo has no option but to elevate his most loyal Minister of State, ie moi, to the cabinet? Consider: even as energy costs, mortgage rates et al spiral, the ONS has just announced a relative halving of the price of food over the past 50 years. And you just can't argue with a track record like that.
Pumsey for president, say I.
No comments yet