I'm jush quite really tired and emotional now, my lovely lovely lovely besht friends, but I really love you and I really think you should know that. That I love you. And I know we've had shome...hic...dishagreements in the pasht but really I love you. Because you're my besht friends.

Okay I've had a little soshal drinkie tonight with my other besht friends who I don't know their names but I always ushually think that's when I do my besht work because it's when I feel good. And now my really, really besht friend in the bow tie behind the bar wants me to pay him a lot of money with lots of noughts on with my plashtic card that he already has. I don't like paying lotsh of money for a drinkie. Sho I really hate my lovely friendsh at Tescho who want me to pay lotsh with my plashtic card for my friend the drinkies. And I thought Looshy was my...hic...friend.

I love Looshy. Looshy says all the poor peoply like their drinkies too much and they need to spend more money at Teschco to get it so they don't drink too much. Pish tush pish. Poor people not like me drink too much becaush they are poor and want to be rich sho they drink to forget they're not rich. Hic.

Sho it doshent matter what drinkies cosht and sho why should rich people, who are my lovely lovely friendsh, pay more? 'Cosh they don't want to be poor. That's why Don Pumshey is minishter for...for...shopsh. Becaush I undershtand. Jusht say to the poor people: "Poor people shtay out of the shopsh!" and then they won't be able to drink drinkies. And the rich people can come in.

I'm quite tired.

My other lovely besht friend Andy who looksh like a Swan Veshta wantsh the poor people in his shopsh but says he will tell them off and get a policeman if they try to buy drunkies. He thinks Tescho are poo. Ha ha ha. He thinks Tescho are poo.

I really love you. Hic.