We were called in to save the cauliflower last week. Meanwhile, pineapples have plummeted and oranges have rocketed. So, sob, we've been forced to ditch our World Cup, retro-style Make Half Time Orange Time campaign for Jaffa.
And, hurrah, we have dreamt up a brilliant cauli and pineapple recipe focus (fronted by Marco Pierre-Worrall-Tartfeatures, of course). Will it work? Well, the man from Cauliflowers UK looked happy. "Did you see the brassicas on that?" I heard him say as the lift door closed.
Let me introduce myself, by the way. Titania Touché. I signed up with Puff & Fluff from deadly rival Girls and Pearls last month. Huge package. Board beckons. And now I've landed this gig writing for the scrummy Mr Leyland. I think it's because I was extra nice to him at the Gramias last year. I've kept the whip as a souvenir. I haven't told the agency about this, though. I figured they won't be reading it. The Grocer's not exactly Tatler is it?
Still, the company is ambitious: it's one of the UK's leading food and drink PR agencies. It says so on the website, so it must be true. And I've already met some very important people.
The Man Who Invented Head & Shoulders was in yesterday. Or Mr Bigwig as we called him, with the emphasis on wig. His latest big idea is a microwaveable offal range. I don't think "Heart & Spleen" is going to catch on as a brand. Still, I was rather proud of my Offally Good Initiative. Stand by Daily Mail, there's going to be free tripe for every reader.
And today was my first meeting with Karoline Freefluff. She's one of the partners by the way. Why the K? As Ms Freefluff says: "PR Rule No.1 sweetie - you don't have to be any good, but you have to be memorable."