The title of this week's Panorama 'investigation' Can Tesco Save the World? (8.30pm BBC1 Monday 30 November), was irritating enough. What next - can pigs fly?
I could feel my hackles rise still further when the programme kicked off with one of those seemingly obligatory soundbites picked from later in the programme. "It was like watching 50 episodes of Yes Minister... in slow motion," said a nameless man hinting at exciting revelations to come. If only.
You'd think a programme about Tesco's green initiatives might actually take more than a passing look at Tesco's green initiatives. But no. All of five minutes was devoted to the titular cause. Journalist Tom Heap whizzed through the retailer's use of barges and the train "that takes the strain" in the manner of a Newsround reporter.
We then heard a former chief scientific officer talk glowingly about Tesco having "to be given credit for taking a leadership role", before being shown a clip of a sweaty upper-lipped Sir Terry Leahy expounding on the need to tackle climate change and an interview with a less strident than usual Lucy Neville-Rolfe talking about helping consumers overcome their sense of hopelessness (aah bless). And that was it.
Heap, who rocked up to every interview wearing the same floral shirt and leather jacket combo, spent the rest of the programme investigating everything but Tesco. He visited a village that bought its own wind turbine, met a green entrepreneur who was investing in solar power (though still flying around in a presumably not very green private jet) and talked to a bloke who'd got a Dragon to invest in his chimney-style wind turbine. Oh and then there was soundbite man. Jeremy Leggett had been on a government renewable energy advisory board, an experience that was, yes... "like watching 50 episodes of Yes Minister..."
There was comedy of sorts to be had. Indeed, it was while watching Heap (of tosh) engage in a silly stat-off with Ed Miliband it finally dawned what the programme reminded me of an episode of The Day Today, the satire, sadly, unwitting... and inappropriate given the seriousness of the subject.
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I could feel my hackles rise still further when the programme kicked off with one of those seemingly obligatory soundbites picked from later in the programme. "It was like watching 50 episodes of Yes Minister... in slow motion," said a nameless man hinting at exciting revelations to come. If only.
You'd think a programme about Tesco's green initiatives might actually take more than a passing look at Tesco's green initiatives. But no. All of five minutes was devoted to the titular cause. Journalist Tom Heap whizzed through the retailer's use of barges and the train "that takes the strain" in the manner of a Newsround reporter.
We then heard a former chief scientific officer talk glowingly about Tesco having "to be given credit for taking a leadership role", before being shown a clip of a sweaty upper-lipped Sir Terry Leahy expounding on the need to tackle climate change and an interview with a less strident than usual Lucy Neville-Rolfe talking about helping consumers overcome their sense of hopelessness (aah bless). And that was it.
Heap, who rocked up to every interview wearing the same floral shirt and leather jacket combo, spent the rest of the programme investigating everything but Tesco. He visited a village that bought its own wind turbine, met a green entrepreneur who was investing in solar power (though still flying around in a presumably not very green private jet) and talked to a bloke who'd got a Dragon to invest in his chimney-style wind turbine. Oh and then there was soundbite man. Jeremy Leggett had been on a government renewable energy advisory board, an experience that was, yes... "like watching 50 episodes of Yes Minister..."
There was comedy of sorts to be had. Indeed, it was while watching Heap (of tosh) engage in a silly stat-off with Ed Miliband it finally dawned what the programme reminded me of an episode of The Day Today, the satire, sadly, unwitting... and inappropriate given the seriousness of the subject.
More from this column
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