Any show celebrating sausages should be an instant classic, especially with the TV royalty combo in Jamie & Jimmy’s Food Fight Club (9pm, Channel 4, 13 December) but like a bad sausage, there was too much filler and ingredients that didn’t seem to gel.

The pair took on Germany in a banger “Battle Royale”. But instead of doing their wurst, as it were, they tweaked our recipes to a Teutonic palate, recruiting German spy Herman, who advised ditching sage and breadcrumbs. British butchers will suspect he was a double agent.

Next the pair chose their meat. A fine selection of British pigs wandered up and down a catwalk, auditioning for death. If that felt distasteful, the endless US-style recaps were just irritating. It got worse, with clip after clip of the pair driving around in an ironic 1980s-themed Ford Capri. I wanted them to crash. Instead, they took the car to Germany to see what they were up against.

As Jamie sucked on a firm bratwurst, he declared it a “sensual” experience. Fortunately, at this point they ditched Herman and plumped for a classic Lincolnshire recipe. Then the judging began.

With the Prince of Bavaria built up as the Simon Cowell figure among a panel of judges, he surprised us all by declaring the English banger the best. And all earlier irritations vanished.

In among this randomness, health freak Gwyneth Paltrow kept popping up, ending up on a rollercoaster clutching a veggie burger and deep-fried chips. Like the show, it flew off in all different directions.