Watch out Jerry Springer! The Grocer is going on telly. We're dumping our laptops in favour of microphones and even our esteemed editor has been seen trawling the Harrods counters for the right "rugged shades" of make-up. We've been on a course to learn all about surviving with the Luvvie Brigade and we hit your screens on September 6 with our first weekly programme. Mind you, it's not all glamour. We began pre-production work this week. (That's a techie term for preparing the first show!) I'd been promised "exotic locations", so images of the South Seas loomed. Alas, the reality was a bit different. There I was, in deepest Dagenham, where even the fish and chip shops have barred windows. And I was plunged even further down to earth when a scruffy local urchin peered curiously at me before uttering the immortal words to his mate: "Naargh. It's nobody famous. It's just some berk going on about food!" Back in the reality of The Grocer newsroom on Wedn-esday it was my turn to fend off daft media inquiries about the Competition Commission's likely verdict on the multiples. Apart from all the usual guff about multiple collusion and ripping off the innocents among the great British public, my favourite call came from a plummy voiced young BBCtv researcher who asked, in all innocence: "Can you tell me when Wal-Mart will be arriving in this country?" . After that, perhaps the great new world of television should be a doddle for our news team. {{COUNTERPOINT }}