Do the relationships in your life warrant enough attention to make improvements or should you see what happens? It's decision time

Relationships are funny things. Or at least they should be if they're going to last. I don't just mean a relationship in the sense of that special someone in your life or bed. We all have many and varied relationships in our daily lives - work colleagues, friends and family. Some are powerful and passionate and others are fleeting and fickle, but all are important. Or are they?

I had a brief and passionate relationship on the train this morning. The lady sitting next to me, in a bid to be very efficient, was trying to pay her credit card bill by phone during her commute to work. In an effort to catch her phone as it fell, she dropped her card. To her horror, it fell down the gap between her seat and the carriage wall. Panic ensued as thoughts of the consequences rushed through her head - she was late for work and this was the last straw in what had already been a horrible morning .

Cue the friendly heroic life coach (never get between a Scotsman and money, plastic or otherwise). Judging by the hug I got when I retrieved her card, you would have thought we'd been married for 20 years. Come to think of it, if we'd been married for 20 years we'd have had an argument about whose fault it was that the card got stuck in the first place, would have brought up all the stupid things each of us had done before and then would have fallen out.

Pick a relationship that you would like to improve and ask yourself "am I doing everything that I can to make this wonderful? Or, am I waiting to see..." In my experience, there are only these two types of relationship.

It is the difference between choosing your battles and my way or else. In wait-and-see relationships the boundaries tend to be enforced harder. Ask yourself: if your child or a family member shouted at you and stormed out, would you be likely to walk away and say "that's it, I'm through with being a parent / brother to them - I'm looking for someone new". No! Well, I hope not. But if a casual friend or associate did that, it would probably mark the end of your relationship.

It boils down to whether you have decided to make whatever you're doing the most wonderful it can be, or whether you are waiting to see if the others are worthy of you and your full attention.

We often hold back in relationships then get hurt because we've held back. It's time to decide. Are you in or are you waiting to see? List your five most important relationships. For each, note down whether you have decided to make it wonderful or whether you are still waiting to see.

Pick one for now and for the next week make it wonderful. You have the power to do it. You can't do something yesterday, you can't do something in five minutes from now you can only do it now.n

Ali Campbell is a life coach and NLP master