I hope the IGD gets on better with its initiative to solve youth unemployment than we’re managing at Puff & Fluff. Karoline (with a K) has suddenly become obsessed with her “standing in the profession” (profession! Ha) and believes we should be “a beacon of good practice”. Why start now, we counter, but K is adamant that she wants a fellowship of the Chartered Institute of Porky Pies (it’s not really called that) before she retires (ETA, alas, unknown). This means bunking off work to chair committees, judge awards and network darling, though she hasn’t actually been asked to do any of these things yet.

So to raise her chances and our profile, she’s following the food industry’s lead and pledging to employ more yoof. This began with interns (“because you don’t have to pay them”), but that’s no longer PC in PR, so we’ve moved on to the far nobler concept of apprenticeships (“because you don’t have to pay them very much”). So far, none of the available candidates has met Karoline’s rather strict criteria: must have attended leading girls’ public school (has to be in A-level top 10, so Roedean is out); must have considerable family wealth and thus be choosing not to work currently - rather than being unable to find a job. Some of the other requirements can’t be repeated in a family trade publication, but suffice to say Karoline won’t be getting a job on Radio Devon in the near future.

All this is “doing our bit”, apparently, and “may well propel us into the Premier League of PR, like Norwich or Fulham in football”. Thus speaks one of the (self-proclaimed) “leading PR people of her generation”. We’re assuming everyone else her age got proper jobs.