Karoline (with a K) normally wafts through life and the office like a chiffon-clad battleship, scented with the heady combination of 4711 (means freshness fast) and last night’s Chanel.
However, with temperatures soaring to levels higher even than Aldi’s sales growth, she has begun to lose her composure. Having a ‘comfort cooled’ office (ie she’s too mean to install air conditioning because “what’s wrong with opening a window?”) is a big part of the problem, leading to almost Rooney-esque levels of anger and confusion among we staff. A fight broke out over the four-year-old Strawberry Mivvi someone found stuck to the back of the office fridge freezer compartment. This prompted K to go off on a long ramble about the lollies of her youth, citing the lime 3D (so named because it cost 3d apparently - yes, she is that ancient) as the apogee of ice-on-a-stick satisfaction. I was always a Fab girl myself, but these days it has to be Daylesford’s organic gooseberry and elderflower ice cream, preferably spooned in by a sweaty George Clooney.
That glow will have been brought on by a hard day being a sustainability advisor to Nespresso and the thrill of declaring on Tuesday that 90% of their coffee is not going to be Fairtrade (although they put it the other way round in the announcement).
Meanwhile, crack investigative journalists at the Daily Telegraph have reported that sales of summer products have risen during the hot weather. Desperate to jump on this bandwagon, we’ve cleverly launched the Cool Can Initiative, which basically means keeping your baked beans in the fridge and eating them with an iced 90% non-Fairtrade coffee.