Despite the latest news about the dangers of meat eating, I’m a steak-ordering, life-embracing, hard drinking woman of substance – probably the only way to survive the cat-eat-cat PR world.
In this, I find myself uncomfortably aligned with Karoline (with a K), who despite my best efforts, I seem to be gradually turning into (plus sizes notwithstanding). And that even extends to my new-found (but purely platonic) love of marmalade.
K and I have been using all our iron reserves to deal with the infighting in the fractious world of tangy orange preserves. Getting arch-rival brand owners on the same promotional page is a bit like managing the kosher fixture at Holborn Sainsbury’s. Our generic promotion, ‘Spread ‘Em For Pleasure’, is finally underway, but planning meetings with the main protagonists have been dominated by bitching about shred size and fruit content (as opposed to figuring out how to engender the same love as Nutella with its ‘hazelnut’ spread: how about some chocolate in that marmalade for starters?)
As with most PR campaigns, any success will probably be the result of events entirely out of our control, so I predict that the launch of an RTD marmalade vodka – thank you Chase – will transform the market, or at least use up all the excess supplies.
K has taken to ostentatious marmalade-flavoured vaping around the office, but that will have to stop if the global anti-fun forces of the World Health Organization get their way. It will be back to the Balkan Sobranies by the bins in the yard behind the office (though she insists on having all the blue ones taken out of the pack).