There is nothing so trivial that a bit of PR can’t be invoked to help the cause. There we are, awaiting the call from Mike Coupe and hoping to take the lead in the Sainsbury’s vs Tesco price claim wars, exposing all sorts of deviousness and inaccuracy and generally mixing it in the media.
Instead, we get a call from the British Mint Growers’ Association, up in arms about the decline of our national toothpaste standards. If, like Terry from the post room, you haven’t brushed your teeth lately, you won’t have noticed the decreasing mintiness of our toothpaste. But the growers have and they’re not happy.
Karoline (with a K), who sounds more like Nigel Farage every day (it’s the fags), blames it on foreign manufacture and the need to produce a product that satisfies everyone in Europe - including the French who, apparently, “don’t like freshness”. And so the Give Us Back Our Minty Gobs campaign is born, hoping, as you’ll have guessed, to whip up a bit of xenophobic frenzy among Sun readers in the personal care aisle.
I wouldn’t date a boy who doesn’t brush at least twice a day, though I fear some may be secret 72-hour deodorant users. It’s possible that some also read (use?) lads mags, but not bought from The Co-op (wrong demographic). After studying the contents in some detail, bosses there have concluded that the contents may not be suitable for their lentil-knitting socialist-leaning clientele. A cover-up of offending images has been ordered, though if they were that concerned, they’d just remove them from sale… surely?
As K often says, a principle’s a principle unless there’s a profit to be made. Which sounds like a good definition of PR.