Christine Tacon

Honestly. I really don’t have time for all this. As my website says, I am a dynamic businesswoman and communicator whose career has been driven by a determination to use clear strategic thinking to achieve business success. And stuff.

So when I devote my precious time resource (rates available at to sorting out squabbles between retailers and, well, whoever, I bloody well expect more than a few dozen to show up. I mean, really. I go to the trouble of booking a nice big room for the GCA Morning Assembly several minutes’ walk away from my office and I find myself faced with an audience that looks like 3am in the grottiest side tent at the Chelmsford Folk Festival.

Now, listen. I’m not spending three days a week devoting my clear strategic thinking to this massive task if no one is prepared to tell tales on the bullies! Although this is doubtless the single greatest problem faced by the UK food supply chain (hence hiring me), so few are the actual complaints that I have had to come up with a survey to single out the naughty boys.

Perhaps I should have used my dynamic communication powers to let a few more suppliers know that they can come and see me in confidence at any time (Mon-Weds) but no matter. We will not tolerate bullies. I will be firm but fair, and Master Lewis can still expect to stay on at home time even though his community studies paper showed a little improvement.

As for those MPs who think I should be given more powers, well, really! I’ve quite enough to do organising conferences without having to adjudicate the Groceries Code as well, thank you very much.