The media will shortly be thick with chatter about return on investment. Did we get enough gold medals for the squidillions we spent on archery, hangliding, swingball and knitting (or whatever this year’s ‘sports’ are)?

As you may tell, I haven’t really been following events, except for the one with the firm-thighed boys in the sand. It’s still comprehensively overshadowing British Food Fortnight, which only last for two weeks anyway because of PRs’ love for alliteration.

Where was I? ROI. It’s becoming the bane of agency life. Clients seem to think they’re entitled to some, while Karoline (with a K) is adamant that £5k a month or thereabouts only buys you the right to talk to the long-limbed lovelies at P&F (including our one boy, Tarquin) and that any media coverage you get as a result is a bonus.

Accountants don’t understand this stuff, but marketers do, at least enough of them to keep us in business, despite a roster that’s shrinking almost as fast as a Health Lottery jackpot.

“Nobody’s interested in buying when it’s raining,” is the excuse from our new business team, which sounds every bit as feeble when spouted by retailers too. But it may be a good thing for Spar that people aren’t shopping, given the inevitable emptiness of its shelves after the Tesco price challenge announced last week. Hey supplier, lose a Spar listing or upset Tesco? You don’t have to be an accountant, or even a marketer, to answer that one.

Anyway, I’m back to the beach volleyball and the chance to watch a man who seems to be named after the world’s best cheese - Montagnolo if you’re not up to speed - to see what he can do with his magnificent spike.

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