We are contacted by a company called Showbiz Foods, who come to see us because they’re excited by the Golden Globes (steady, boys). They are intending to launch a ‘Life of Pie’ range and want to feature Anne Hathaway’s Cottage Pie as the launch product. Somewhat uncharitably, Karoline (with a K) suggests that as Anne looks like one they should be able to get away with actually declaring the horse content this time, rather than just smuggling it into meat products as usual. This doesn’t go down well and the meeting finishes before we get the chance to talk about the very, very long Les Miserables pie they’re developing.
Pies are almost as popular among misguided foodie entrepreneurs as artisan crisps (see last week). It’s called Doing A Higgidy - finding a dead category and reinventing it as posh. Pork scratchings are getting the same treatment now. We’ve been working on a plan to make canned food similarly sexy, but the Sheer Heaven In Tins initiative has failed to catch on, for some reason.
Abstinence from alcohol has proven similarly attractive and my new year’s resolution has turned out to be about as reliable as a Hovis wheat-sourcing pledge. It is too dark and too cold to stay off the booze, but I can guarantee that I won’t be drinking Carling cider, the latest ‘just too late to succeed’ launch from Molson Coors, even if it’s the last thing in the cupboard (which empties surprisingly often).
It may be a booze-induced fantasy, but Karoline (with a K) has been claiming Trevor Moore as an old mate and punting him as the next CEO of Morrisons. With Threshers, Jessops and HMV on his CV, he would be the perfect choice.