Regular readers, who I know like to keep up with these things, will remember that I was promoted to the lofty role of senior account manager at Puff & Fluff in November 2011. And a belated thank you for the card to “Super Rep,” whoever you may be. Fewer thanks for the photo accompanying it, which didn’t help to identify you in any way that I’m ever likely to use. So having just about recovered from that trauma (and especially the decorative use of the tube of Primula) I’m reluctant to reveal that I’ve been promoted to the even-loftier role of account director. Despite the fear that this will spur you on to new heights of fmcg creativity, it is true. So yay! (As everyone says about everything now.)

When I asked Karoline (with a K) about the salary implications, she did that kind of hurt look that people do when you give them prosecco instead of Champagne and told me that money isn’t everything. Suffice to say, after hard negotiation, I can now afford a pair of So Kate glitter Louboutins, as long as I don’t harbour any “silly ideas” about buying my own flat, car, holidays, dinner etc. Actually, if Super Rep is a man of means I could probably overlook the squeezy cheese thing.

I suspect he’s more likely to be one of the 28% of men who don’t brush their teeth twice a day, or the 42% - as revealed by a survey for The Grocer - who seem able resist the attractions of washing on a regular basis. Karoline thinks this represents a golden opportunity: to launch the first 96-hour deodorant. Picking up on the lifestyle of the target end users, she comes up with Vagrant as a brand and I suggest ‘Four days fragrant’ as a tagline, instantly justifying my promotion.