One hundred days to go and, inspired by some marketing genius at Florette, our latest P&F sweepstake is on who will be joining the trail of Olympic has-beens opportunistically flogging themselves to the highest bidder.

Karoline (with a K)’s fortune follows its lucky pattern. Neptune Collonges in the National and Denise Lewis first from the hat of shame. Apparently she’s now appearing on pack as part of the Milk Marketing Forum’s ‘Make Me Money’ campaign. Denise, not Karoline. My luck is, alas, out, with Synchronised (tragic) and Kriss Akabusi (tragi-comedy).

And my love life, you’ll be dismayed to know, is in a similar rut. However, having accidentally uploaded myself on Pinterest, I did score a date with a social media guru. They clearly don’t get out much, because he went all wobbly after two glasses of Animée (the Molson Coors beer for women. I know, I should have seen the warning signs). Anyhow, in his slackjawed state he spilt the beans about social media. They’re all making it up apparently. All of them. All the gurus, digital agencies, app designers and internet visionaries. There’s a king’s new clothes thing going on.

You wouldn’t expect these words from a PR girl, but it makes you long for some integrity. Though maybe of the flexible kind displayed by Tesco in its Community Promises. I had heard that Tesco was looking to replace Brunswick’s Finest PR stooges with an Everyday Value option - that’s us to a T.

On its website I found the Cheshunt colossus promising that “everyone in our supply chain is treated honestly and fairly”. There is an asterisk however, leading to some very small print referencing the Clairol Clause: “unless we want to rip them off with a lookalike product”.