SFP

“Best chef in Birmingham” James Olive is on a mission to “cook the best British food in the world”. And if anyone can do that, it’s him. After all, “he took the rulebook and he threw it away, and then he got it out the bin and deep-fried it”, according to talking head Matthew Prester.

After much effort, Olive unveils his pièce de résistance: a chip butty with baked beans in it. “It literally almost killed me,” he reveals. 

All this can be seen in the new trailer for W**ker’s Table, a Netflix cooking show that, sadly, doesn’t exist. It’s an online parody by jokesters Mates Rates and Paddy Young. 

The streaming service does, however, have an actual new food programme: the eighth series of Somebody Feed Phil dropped this week. 

Across eight episodes, roving presenter Phil Rosenthal tucks into the likes of smoked eel in Amsterdam, pork sisig in Manila and Ghananian kelewele in Boston.

In Tbilisi, on a sun-kissed mountain, he chows down on khachapuri, a traditional cheese-filled bread that’s practically a work of art. It’s served with slow-cooked lamb and pork, more bread, extra cheese and wine. Rosenthal is appropriately enamoured. 

He seems less enthused about the forceful foam massage he gets at a thermal bathhouse. “What’s better than sitting in sulphur water is having it go in your mouth,” he sarcastically opines. 

Then it’s back to the succulent meats, freshly baked breads and Rosenthal’s relentless energy. It’s all quite lovely. Except for the theme song. That sucks.

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