In negotiation, success isn’t about clever tactics or dominating the conversation – it’s about discovery. It’s the second stage of the PEPSI negotiation model: Preparation, Exploration, Propose, Summarise… The ‘I’ is just to help make it memorable!
Exploration is where real insight is uncovered, trust is built, and opportunities emerge. But too often, negotiators enter this phase with the wrong tool: the assumption shovel.
The assumption shovel is shaped by your past experiences, biases and expectations. It guides your questions, filters what you hear, and subtly narrows your thinking. You assume your client is budget-constrained, so you focus on cost. Or you believe they want a long-term deal, so you ask about timelines. These assumptions feel like preparation – but they’re actually blinders.
This is the danger: you think you’re exploring, but you’re just reinforcing what you already believe. You ask leading questions, miss key signals, and walk away thinking you’ve uncovered the truth when in fact you’ve only confirmed your own narrative. The assumption shovel feels efficient, but it’s deceptive. It limits discovery, damages trust and can cause you to overlook creative solutions or misjudge priorities.
So, what’s the alternative? The curiosity shovel, naturally. This is the tool of the expert negotiator. It’s built on open-mindedness and powered by genuine interest. It doesn’t dig where you expect gold – it digs where truth lives. It challenges your assumptions, widens your perspective, and invites surprise.
Before your next negotiation, write down what you think you know. Then, flip those assumptions into open-ended questions:
- Instead of ‘they’re under budget pressure’, ask ‘how is budget influencing your decision?’
- Instead of ‘they want a long-term deal’ ask ‘what kind of timeline are you considering?’
- Ask big, open questions: ‘What’s getting your goat at the moment?’
This shift from ‘I know’ to ‘I’m curious’ transforms the conversation. You’ll uncover hidden value, build stronger connections, and create space for real movement.
In high-stakes negotiations, the difference between assumption and curiosity can be the difference between a missed opportunity and a breakthrough deal.
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