Captain Birdeye’s back! Again! You can tell the beardy seafood fan is the star of this ad because it begins with a jazzy musical stab that goes “Captain Birdseye!”, like he’s an action hero, not an elderly naval officer with a crew of children dressed as pirates.

Anyway, these days the jolly bumpkin-voiced mariner is skippering a tall ship, and is just serving lunch - a huge tower of fish fingers - when an unconvincing CGI octopus pops up, keen for its share. But it’s soon foiled by the quick-thinking kids, who violently barge it back into the briny deep. In your face, Squidward!

Cap says the digits are ‘100% cod fillet’ but while it might tempt excited pirate-kids, it’s hard to take seriously a quality message in an ad as naff as this.