You will have seen our hugely successful campaign for vinegar salt, a product that came about entirely by accident (Sarson's vs Saxa lorry crash, M6 closed for five hours).
And without a market until we invented a major consumer issue out of soggy fish and chips. Swallowed hook, line and sinker by our gullible media friends.
Meanwhile no 1 fungus brand Quorn is on the market. Things have clearly gone downhill since they vetoed our Eat Mould Not Meat campaign and tried to persuade everyone that their product "is a distant relative of the mushroom". Like William Hague is a distant relative of Brad Pitt. Anyhow, vegetarianism is all right in its place, say in special hospitals, but for sane people it's a non-starter.
You won't find any successful PR women who are vegetarian. Meat eaters all, with the teeth, temper and bosoms to prove it. That's why our junior, Anastasia (Nervosa), is never going to cut it at P&F. A bit drippy anyway, animal-issues-aware and definitely anaemic. As short of iron as an Indian bridge.
Fortunately, despite the new equality law, 'Are you a vegetarian?' is one of the few questions you can still ask at an interview. That sorts the cows out from the calves. I remember my hippy dippy mummy feeding me textured vegetable protein as a child (Batchelors, 49p a packet, tasted like rubber). It was a jumbo sausage behind the bike sheds for me as soon as I got the chance. Did I mention that we've just started working for British Meat?
Anyhow, here I am today, meat-fuelled and advancing rapidly up the ladder at one of London's top medium-sized food specialist PR agencies. All down to talent, natch, and maybe the photos of Karoline (with a K) that I brought back from China (see last week).
That's the sort of CPD money can't buy.
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And without a market until we invented a major consumer issue out of soggy fish and chips. Swallowed hook, line and sinker by our gullible media friends.
Meanwhile no 1 fungus brand Quorn is on the market. Things have clearly gone downhill since they vetoed our Eat Mould Not Meat campaign and tried to persuade everyone that their product "is a distant relative of the mushroom". Like William Hague is a distant relative of Brad Pitt. Anyhow, vegetarianism is all right in its place, say in special hospitals, but for sane people it's a non-starter.
You won't find any successful PR women who are vegetarian. Meat eaters all, with the teeth, temper and bosoms to prove it. That's why our junior, Anastasia (Nervosa), is never going to cut it at P&F. A bit drippy anyway, animal-issues-aware and definitely anaemic. As short of iron as an Indian bridge.
Fortunately, despite the new equality law, 'Are you a vegetarian?' is one of the few questions you can still ask at an interview. That sorts the cows out from the calves. I remember my hippy dippy mummy feeding me textured vegetable protein as a child (Batchelors, 49p a packet, tasted like rubber). It was a jumbo sausage behind the bike sheds for me as soon as I got the chance. Did I mention that we've just started working for British Meat?
Anyhow, here I am today, meat-fuelled and advancing rapidly up the ladder at one of London's top medium-sized food specialist PR agencies. All down to talent, natch, and maybe the photos of Karoline (with a K) that I brought back from China (see last week).
That's the sort of CPD money can't buy.
More from this column
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