What is the difference between motivation and manipulation? Generally speaking, if you've been motivated you normally feel satisfied afterwards, while if you've been manipulated you may feel conned. For instance, you may consider saving up cereal packet tops to get a free gardening book is well worth all the effort and extra fibre. Whereas, winning a free Weekend Break that obliges you to take every meal in the hotel's expensive restaurant could be considered a con. So if we want to persuade people to buy a service, a product or an idea - and keep on buying it - it's better to motivate than manipulate. There are four basic types of motivation; in other words, there's FORM to consider. This stands for fun, obligation, running away and money.

F is for fun. Often you buy something on impulse because you like it and it feels good. O is for obligation. Someone has done something for us - often a favour - and we feel duty-bound to respond to his or her request. We feel obliged.

R is for running away. I was canoeing in the Canadian Rockies with my eldest and the leader in the six-man Canadian Canoe learned I was a motivational speaker. He waited his moment, unbeknown to me, and then said: "See that sign over there?" There was a huge sign reading, 'Waterfall 1 kilometre. Please leave the river at the next bank.' Certain death awaited anyone who attempted to go over it in a canoe. He said: "The current's strong and we all gotta paddle hard to make sure we make the bank on the right." We all paddled like never before. He tapped me on the shoulder and shouted above the din of the fast-running water: "That's motivation!" He motivated us by letting us see what was in it for us. And that's the difference between motivation and manipulation. People are moti­vated to do what they want to do. But sometimes you need to point out the issues so they see why they should act. Manipulation is when you get someone to do something by conning them. It can work in the short term, but never in the long term. You reap what you sow.

And M, of course, is for money. It is a motivator, but it's rarely the key one. For many employees money is a 'hygiene' factor. If they are being rewarded in line with their expectations, then the real motivation is usually more about a feeling of self-worth and appreciation.

And that's the key to motivation. Find out what people want to do and what is important to them. Then work out together how they can do it in a way that matches your motivation.

Philip Hesketh is a professional speaker on 'The Psychology of Persuasion' and author of 'Life's A Game So Fix The Odds'