Not Karoline (with a K) of course. She thinks she's recession-proof. As owner of our soon-to-be-dwindling band she probably is, which just makes it harder for the rest of us.
Oh, the year started off so well. Clients galore, wallets opening like early daffodils, optimism in the air and Bolly in the boardroom. Now they're dropping off the radar like Vapona-quaffing bluebottles and we Expensive Assets are increasingly twiddling our beautifully manicured thumbs. (Rimmel Lycra Pro 'Posh Trash', if you want to know).
And it's the same across puff-dom as far as my PR girly friends say. Lots of brave faces, very little business. So naturally there was much squealing with delight here at a potential client's misfortune. We had already formed the Cucumber Defence League by Tuesday lunchtime and started putting it about that it's the aubergines that are really to blame. This is without knowing any of the e-coli facts, of course, but that didn't hinder the PR heroes of BSE, salmonella or Sudan-1, who bravely made something up and stuck to it.
The other glimmer on the horizon is the 'revelation' that energy drinks may be bad for the kids of Britain. There seems to be some surprise that they can be both hyperactive and immobile at the same time, just gaining girth as the furniture sinks lower. Time for a bit of deflection PR. Got kids? Burn your sofa today!
I fear this little burst of activity is just putting off the inevitable. Though the good news for my colleagues about to depart for gardening leave is that growing your own veg, as the Mirror revealed, helps combat depression.
As long as they're not growing cucumbers, of course, which may or may not halt it.
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