We can put the riots, the Eurozone crisis, Somalian famines and anything else genuinely newsworthy to one side. The silly season is officially here and heralded, as ever, by a sandwich story.

This time it's the return of the 'long-lasting' sandwich, variously fresh and tasty for two weeks or two years, depending on which paper you read. Launching anything in the next couple of weeks? Create a sandwich and captivate the media. That's what we're telling our clients, so watch out for the pomegranate spritzer sandwich, the anchovy-stuffed olive sandwich, the three-tier cupcake sandwich and the cheese sandwich (we may have to work on that last one a bit).

Meanwhile, there's dismay in the pine nut community as the FSA investigates Chinese imports, which can leave a bitter taste in the mouth for two weeks. Rather like snogging a Cabinet minister, according to Miranda, who should know. One pine nut devotee claimed they left "a medicinal flavour at the back of my throat". Not unlike a Fisherman's Friend then. Talking of which, sales have soared since we managed to wheedle a reference to a rather jolly sexual practice into the script of Channel 4's oiky youth hit Misfits. Episode seven of the last series if you want to have a try. And no, it didn't involve sucking.

You can tell things are slow in the agency at this time of year because for want of something to do, we've been flicking through the pages of this august August journal laughing at the Grocer Cup Star of 2011 candidates. Karoline (with a K) has already positively identified two of them from the CCTV pics of Tottenham High Road.

Still, on a more encouraging note, the UK is apparently only generating about £5bn of food waste a year. Which must be a tiny fraction of the amount we produce in PR waste.