With a recent study discovering more and more men enjoying the pleasures of the supermarket and the weekly shop, let me offer a lighthearted view of what men might expect over the next few months from their supermarkets: Free comics and juices to keep the accompanying kids quiet. Men don't seem to have the same power of control. But with the male attitude of "anything for a quiet life", please place kiddie temptations on shelves above a four year old's eye line. Until the male specicies gets a grip of the shopping list' and where everything is found in the aisles, we need the support of helpful, ideally gorgeous girls to assist us in our shopping ventures. As could be seen from Gordon Brown's oversight' in mentioning the reduction of VAT on tampons in the Budget, men are not very good in this area. Perhaps they should be positioned near the checkouts so they could be slipped discreetly into the trolley without any fuss. Supermarkets want to be everything to everybody, but they are currently geared to the female shopper. Perhaps a rethink on aisle positioning is needed, for instance alcohol near the entrance so the cases of beer can be placed at the bottom of the trolley instead of on top of the eggs. The whole shopping experience' is a novelty at present for the guys. Make it more so by supplying car jockeys, hairdressers, a bar (one drink only), a chiropractor or masseuse, a crêche, and more packers. Finally, when you really get organised, then you could invent computerised trolleys where the shopping list was keyed in. The trolley's own navigational system would then lead the guy on the most advantageous route. The computer might also analyse the list and make announcements of beneficial alternatives, special offers etc. One day my dreams may come true. {{NEWS }}