I think Sophie Wittams used to be an intern here. She is the Tory PR girl who entrapped a man who sounds like a brand of trouser press - disgraced MP Brooks Newmark. As I recall, Sophie was deeply scheming and devious but had the smile of an angel, and was thus eminently suited to a career in PR. Ironically, she left P&F after the great 2012 Christmas party sardines scandal, when compromising photos appeared online. The biscuit brand manager who was in the same cupboard (and possibly took the pics) increased our budget for the next year, though.
Such windfalls haven’t been enough to drag us into the black, however, and Karoline (with a K)’s accounting revelation from last week continues to “shake the business to its very foundations” (©Daily Mail re Tesco, but just as apt here). She put up a poster in the staff room exhorting us to add £500 under the heading ‘miscellaneous operating costs’ to every invoice. Unfortunately, she accidentally emailed the artwork to the entire client database. The ensuing panic included stamping on her iPad because she couldn’t turn it off and cutting all the cables coming out of the server with a pair of promotional garden shears we are offering in a mistimed ‘get into the garden for Christmas’ competition for a brand of mince pies. Despite this, the email, which included the memorable payoff “Let’s fleece the buggers while it’s still warm outside”, was long gone and being circulated on Twitter within 10 minutes.
Unsurprisingly, K is now looking at alternative business models. Seeing Strada sold for £37m she’s already plotting a pop-up restaurant, provisionally titled The Puffery. We could take Sophie back on as a waitress.