Promos

Believe you me, if there’s one thing we retailers enjoy more than anything else it’s when people who don’t know what they’re talking about take the opportunity to do just that. That’s usually the job of members of parliament, but with Mr Field off on a boating trip with Mr Green, and Mr Wright recording his follow-up to Sgt Pepper there are plenty of others, like the lovely folks at Which? magazine, who are kind enough to help us all out with some advice.

Now, our shop just off Parliament Square is pretty empty at the moment (Pavlina has taught herself Japanese for “we are fresh out of selfie sticks and rain ponchos”) so there is plenty of time to flick through some of the slower-moving magazines, like Amateur Dentistry, Top Gear and Practical Labradoodle. Some of them never seem to sell at all, like Which?, which always seems to end up hanging off a nail in the convenience when we run out of Izal.

Anyway, this month’s issue had a lovely spread offering shopkeepers some excellent advice on how to make people less fat. Apparently the problem is all down to us because we use promotions to force everyone to consume Mars Bars and cake when really they want to buy lentils and cress.

I know exactly what they’re getting at. I for one quite often find myself putting a tray of Monster Munch and Nutella into the oven for a lovely Sunday roast just because they’re on offer at Aldi (heaven knows I can’t afford my own prices). Which? even ran a survey to show just how underhand our pricing is. They found that almost exactly half of price cuts are on good things (with the other half on bad things). Just how can the poor shopper be expected to decide?