The final of The Great British Bake Off (BBC2, 8pm, 22 October) was rather disappointing. We had 10 episodes of Paul Hollywood strutting around like a fluorescent great ape, beating his chest over soggy bottoms, Mary Berry wincing about sloppy crumb structure and Mel and Sue’s incessant joviality. This was supposed to be the big pay-off.
But it was a total one-horse race. Frances Quinn is “the most creative baker” to have ever appeared on the show, we were told after the opening credits. I could have switched off then. It was no surprise, despite her pretzels looking a bit like they belonged on a kennel floor, that she was picked as alpha baker.
Kimberley Wilson’s pig pie imploded. And her three-tiered wedding cake would have created a raging bridezilla. Ruby Tandoh’s looked like it had been put together by a child with plasticine. Frances’ cake may have been slightly wonky, but it had style. Outside it was all confetti and fondant bees. Inside, moist crumbs and punchy flavours. Yum.
That’s not the only reason I’m glad I didn’t switch off. If I had I would’ve missed one of the most laughable things to have been uttered by Ruby, who’s been bickering with chefs and reviewers on Twitter and complaining of being misrepresented throughout the week. Marriage is an “exercise in narcissism”, she sniffed.
What, like appearing on a reality TV show and whinging to all and sundry when you’re not portrayed in a way you like? I would’ve thought a first-class philosophy graduate would be smarter than that.