I was all set to yawn my way through this special celebratory one millionth episode of MasterChef: The Professionals (8.30pm, BBC1, 4 December), but it turned out to be a cracker.

Punchy pudding fan Greg Wallace was nowhere to be seen as the plucky pros headed for a masterclass from Ashley Palmer-Watts, Heston Blumenthal’s protégé, and we went backstage at Heston’s latest restaurant, Dinner.

I enjoyed five courses there the other night and it was sensational. We saw why on the show. Palmer-Watts’ refusal to allow even a semi-wilted micro-herb to leave the pass proved why he has won Dinner two Michelin stars in just two years.

The second half of the show went back to the studio. Enter bug-eyed Gallic genius Michel Roux Jr and his henchgirl Monica Galetti, the latter continuing her re-branding by grinning like Jaws just before Brody blew him to smithereens. Galetti is clearly on a mission to appear friendlier. I’m not fooled. At one stage she asked after a contestant’s kids. I reckon she wanted to eat them.

Then the ‘sounds of the kitchen’ breakbeats kicked in and the duel to the death began. The first lad did fish in a fragrant sauce, the other threatened duck with broccoli ketchup, a combination that captures both the healthy and the dirty food zeitgeists in one green splodge.

The resulting plates looked sensational. I held my breath during the judging. A place in the final awaited the winner. It was so tense! And then? Well, they chickened out and put them both through. Boo! Roux and Galetti? Pussycats.