Santa

At this stressful time of year, don’t forget the legion of Father Christmases who bravely endure the tyrannical demands of our nation’s lap-hopping tots.

Port brand Cockburn’s undertook a Santa survey, which found the top stresses of the job include uncomfortable uniforms, pushy parents, beard-pulling kids with ‘awkward questions’, carol fatigue and ‘having to be jolly all the time’.

Cockburn’s is doing something about it, setting up a ‘safe space’ at M Victoria in London, to which Santas can escape and enjoy a free glass of Cockburn’s Special Reserve. After all, why should the real FC get all the free booze on his Xmas Eve tour?

Reserving a spot is advised, and it’s probably worth bringing some proof of employment, lest any unscrupulous red suit owners try to wangle their way in. Maybe make a list, Cockburn’s? Be sure to check it twice!