It's dangerous to assume everyone sees things the way you do - Michael Jackson probably thought calling alcohol 'Jesus juice' in that documentary made him seem less creepy and sinister rather than more so.

The new Hula Hoops ads feature that rings-on-fingers thing 'everyone' supposedly does when eating the snacks, creating potato puppets for two musical numbers like edible Fingerbobs.

The DJ scratching on his Hula Hoop record decks is hip-hop-hilarious; the less effective Village People routine just makes you glad disco died in 1979.

Thing is, not everyone does 'the rings' - a rival school of thought dictates bags of Hula Hoops are best downed in one with a tilt of the head, although the risk of death by choking is slightly higher.

Next week: the borderline-pornographic ad for 'what everyone does' with Red Mill onion rings.