Themed days, weeks, fortnights and months are the last refuge of the PR puff-artist who has run out of ideas - so there are lots of them about. If I didn’t know better, I’d be quite looking forward to what should be a week-long sybaritic orgy of mango gluttony.

Yes, it’s National Mango Week of course. If Puff & Fluff was organising it, we’d have dancing mangoes in Trafalgar Square, skydiving mango-men ditching in the Thames, an adult mango film festival on Television X and, to kick things off, the image of Jesus appearing in a freshly cut mango on Monday. As it is I think you’re going to be limited to some juice sampling and a couple of posters, so it may be best to make other plans for the week’s entertainment.

Karoline (with a K) suggests we all go and laugh at Marks & Spencer shoppers as they survey the new cheapo foods range. “They’ll be so confused, poor lambs. They’re in Marks but it looks like an Aldi!” she barks. I’m not so sure. I think it’s a cunning ruse to make everything else in the store look much more expensive and so keep out the riff-raff.

It must be a bewildering time for the proletariat. On the one hand, the tidal wave of kebab shops engulfing our city centres is going to be curtailed - thus removing a staple part of the diet - while on the other, you can now feed a pauper family of five for a week on a £2 Asda salmon. (That includes boiling the head for soup on day seven, but even so.)

It’s enough to make K nostalgic as she reaches for the souvenir 1952 Typhoo jubilee tea packet. “I remember when this brand used to be popular,” she cackles, in a blow to marketing effectiveness.