The mighty have fallen quite a long way it seems. Back in the Bolly Years (or the PPP - pre-prosecco period) around 2007, Puff & Fluff worked on a minimum monthly fee to clients of £4,000 and were distinctly sniffy if anyone actually asked us to do anything for that sort of “pathetic” retainer. Now we’ll drop everything (Karoline, with a K, takes this quite literally) for £750 a month and as much product as we can eat. Not only does this mean that we’re actually working quite hard (which isn’t the point of being in PR at all) we’re also gaining weight rapidly (size 10 blues beckoning - may need a serious green tea and bikram yoga focus to get back to an eight).

We’re also being forced into contact with the growing band of ‘entrepreneurial’ foodies who think that because someone once said something nice about their homemade jam/cupcake/salted caramel/fig and parsnip popcorn/etc, they can inflict it on the nation’s shoppers. These putative brand builders are generally terribly nice and stark raving mad, touting their stripey cardboard packaging about with the deranged zeal of a Southern Baptist preacher casting out demons. They also have the odd notion that they shouldn’t pay if we don’t get results, which demonstrates that they have no idea about PR at all.

Unlike whelks, who have fought back this week from their position as the most loathsome creatures on earth (or at least the chewiest) to take the post-Fukushima “we’ll survive a nuclear explosion and you won’t” crown.

This gives us another angle for next week’s artisan whelk and rhubarb ice cream launch. Our clients Rupert and Felicia get very excited and increase the budget to £800.