Grocer reports on the soaring price of orange juice only go to convince me that Buck's Fizz is a waste of bucks.
There's a clear solution to this pressing issue. Let them drink Bolly!
This insight comes to me as we stand, short-skirted and shivering, at the press launch of the fish farming industry's newest outdoor attraction.
When I was just starting out on my long and glorious PR career (three years = long, still being employed = glorious) the nation's media was obsessed with farmed fish. Frankenfish, according to the Daily Mail. Killer, carcinogenic fish, they said (which meant smoked salmon was a double whammy in the Big C stakes). Giant genetically modified salmon were set to roam the land.
But now, thanks to a long-term behind-the-scenes campaign in which P&F has played no small part, fish farming is the future. After years of recipe placement, salmon pink fashion spreads, subverting the protest groups (notice how Old Trout no longer appears in Private Eye?) and sucking up to Scots politicos, we have finally achieved our ultimate goal.
No, not the recognition in a UN report this week that aquaculture is the best way to feed the world. Rather the reason for me standing here in the freezing wilds of Scotland, clutching press packs and smiling.
It's the opening of Hello Salar, the salmon-farming theme park in Fort William. It's a celebration of a proudly Scottish (though entirely owned by Norwegians) industry, with fishy fun for all the family.
Take a ride aboard the leaping salmon (mind that dorsal fin!); play Douse The Louse with realistically potent chemicals; take the Eco-Warrior Challenge and swim in fish poo; shoot Peter The Pesky Seal (and win a sealskin sporran).
It's all about 'normalisation', according to Karoline (with a K). If this is normal, I'm a Scotsman.
More from this column
There's a clear solution to this pressing issue. Let them drink Bolly!
This insight comes to me as we stand, short-skirted and shivering, at the press launch of the fish farming industry's newest outdoor attraction.
When I was just starting out on my long and glorious PR career (three years = long, still being employed = glorious) the nation's media was obsessed with farmed fish. Frankenfish, according to the Daily Mail. Killer, carcinogenic fish, they said (which meant smoked salmon was a double whammy in the Big C stakes). Giant genetically modified salmon were set to roam the land.
But now, thanks to a long-term behind-the-scenes campaign in which P&F has played no small part, fish farming is the future. After years of recipe placement, salmon pink fashion spreads, subverting the protest groups (notice how Old Trout no longer appears in Private Eye?) and sucking up to Scots politicos, we have finally achieved our ultimate goal.
No, not the recognition in a UN report this week that aquaculture is the best way to feed the world. Rather the reason for me standing here in the freezing wilds of Scotland, clutching press packs and smiling.
It's the opening of Hello Salar, the salmon-farming theme park in Fort William. It's a celebration of a proudly Scottish (though entirely owned by Norwegians) industry, with fishy fun for all the family.
Take a ride aboard the leaping salmon (mind that dorsal fin!); play Douse The Louse with realistically potent chemicals; take the Eco-Warrior Challenge and swim in fish poo; shoot Peter The Pesky Seal (and win a sealskin sporran).
It's all about 'normalisation', according to Karoline (with a K). If this is normal, I'm a Scotsman.
More from this column
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