It has been, of course, the best PR that Fortnum's has had in years.

Possibly the only PR, given its image as one of the least interesting shops in the world.

But now the first people in a decade under the age of 70 have been through its Piccadilly doors. Admittedly they had their faces masked.

And it must have been quite a lot of trouble to organise a UK Uncut breakaway march and a sit-in, but the fusty old retail brand is back on the map. Stand by for a run on Patum Peperium and mushroom ketchup, now that the great unwashed have had a taste of the good life.

At the other end of the social and age spectra, The Grocer reveals that the young and the poor can no longer afford fruit and vegetables.

Actually, this just shows how clever chavs can be at answering surveys with excuses that justify eating more and more deep-fried Mars bars and other Krispy Krap. It also shows how useful the right survey can be in getting you in the press and on the telly.

But there are two things no PR agency will tell you when they're trying to persuade you to agree to a survey. The first is that it now costs less than £500 to ask five questions of 1,000 people online, not the £5,000 they have put in your budget.

The second is that about 150 surveys are vying for media coverage every day and the chance that yours will get used is almost nil.

The chance that Cadbury's massive Spots v Stripes promotion will succeed is almost nil too. How such a lame concept got off the ground is extraordinary. Spots or stripes? No one actually cares enough to buy more chocolate. No chance of that idea coming from the razor-sharp creative minds at P&F. We suggested squares versus oblongs.

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