In an unexpected attack of prudery, our glorious leader Karoline (with a K) has complained to the ASA about the current Creme Egg ads on TV.

They feature the eggs working themselves up into a frenzy and then suddenly splurging sticky white goo all over the place. Karoline seemed quite shocked by this, but none of us here can imagine why.

After all, it's hardly a situation she's unfamiliar with - and actually very similar to a campaign she herself proposed for a Spearmint Rhino range of brand-stretch confectionery we were asked to launch last year.

Maybe she's jealous that they got away with it, because Clearcast vetoed our ad on the basis of "the need to avoid the complete debasement of the human spirit", which isn't actually in the code of practice, but having read the script, I can see what they meant.

Anyhow, according to the industry goss, all the attention at Cadbury is on rescuing its Olympic 2012 campaign, which Miranda here at P&F refers to as Shits versus Turds. This sort of talk may mean an end to all the freebie product that her mates at her previous agency send over-regularly.

Well you didn't think all those 'press samples' went to the media did you? There's a whole inter-agency product trading network in London, fuelled by clients' lack of stock control attention. Many an enterprising PR exec has stocked a whole carboot sale stall with cast-offs from other people's campaigns.

Meanwhile, as news breaks yet again about the good-for-you qualities of blueberries and pomegranates, we realise, in mounting terror, that there may be no new miracle products left. Every berry, fruit and flower has been revealed as a cure for something.

Where can PR go from here, asks Karoline? Maybe we can promote Creme Eggs as some kind of natural Viagra, I reply.

More from this column