With its results D-day looming, it might seem an unlikely tactic for Tesco to start fining people for parking outside its stores. Not so long ago, before its recent turnaround, it seemed like it might have to pay them to come.
But when the target is people stealing disabled bay spaces, the supermarket giant is likely to have a fairly large groundswell of support. Although… hands up those who have done it before. Go on, admit it.
The retailer has also admitted the technology, which links with the DVLA to dish out tickets in the post, could also be extended to cover parent and child spaces – another source of many a car park barney in the past.
But as thoughts turn to Tesco’s finances, perhaps it should look to extend the policy further. Here are a few suggestions for additional fines.
1. People who knowingly put items back on the wrong shelf.
2. Shoppers who nick your ankles with their trolley or stop and have conversations, blocking the aisle.
3. Customers who tell the checkout assistant “I only popped in for a loaf of bread”.
4. People who eat while going round and leave their rubbish in the trolley.
5. Shoppers with screaming children.
6. People who lean over or push in when you’re looking at the reduced items for sale.
7. Anyone who causes the checkout to grind to a halt by taking loads of alcohol to an obviously underage checkout operator.
8. Drivers who take hours to work out they haven’t pressed the pay at the pump/kiosk button.
9. People who use self-service machines when they are apparently incapable of doing so.
10. Children who take free fruit when the rest of us have to pay.
Fine that lot and Tesco’s profits will soon be rocketing. Any other suggestions? Please contact Dave Lewis.