Confidence: the lack of it can be a career killer. But it’s vital. Think of what having confidence in a room of 10 senior people can do. Or sharing what might be a stupid idea – but equally might be brilliant. You need confidence to give a piece of feedback that might be taken badly, and to deliver a pitch to a client in such a way that they love it.
There are five levels of confidence, starting at avoidant, and building up through learning, practising, high-acting and authentic.
Most people in the office are at the practising level. Some operate at high-acting and authentic. We need to rise to that challenge, otherwise we won’t get the recognition we deserve.
So, what is the difference between practising and high-acting? Being seen and heard.
High-acting confidence is proactive confidence. It is about wanting to stretch outside our comfort zone, wanting to influence people we normally don’t, being proactive and taking chances.
This type of confidence is not arrogant – it’s about having a desire to be seen as a force for good, as someone who can make a huge difference, who is not afraid to say “maybe we could see this another way” or “I’ve got a thought that could help”.
The people I coach can normally identify one of three things they can do to improve their confidence levels. Or they can do more than one, of course.
- Make a promise to themselves that if they have a great idea, they will tell someone. Who knows? It could be a brilliant idea.
- In every meeting with senior people or a team, ensure they have said something. Anything – but ideally, something that adds real value.
- Say hello – and more – to any senior person that they meet, and ask a question.
When they accept learning this higher level of confidence is a skill like any other, people start to have a thirst to learn high-acting confidence. Further reading/viewing they can then go on to undertake include: watching Amy Cuddy’s Ted Talk, reading Selena Rezvani’s Quick Confidence, watching Mollie Trainor’s TikTok videos on confidence, and understanding Stephen Covey’s ‘Habit 2 Begin with the End in Mind’.
Meanwhile, know the confidence equation, and improve your self-talk. Good luck!
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