Ah so. As I hoped, PR result of the year is that I am the chosen one from the agency to accompany Karoline (with a K) on the Sainsbury's PR recce trip to China.
We're out here to look for crises and issues that may play badly at home. All we can find so far is a brutal dictatorship, child labour, and breaches of basic human rights. So really no different to life back in the P&F office.
Most of the trip has been taken up with "getting Wanchai Ferry" as Chinese rhyming slang has it, with booze galore laid on for "our honoured Sainsbully guests". I suspect that our hosts think we're more important than we actually are.
But K thinks it's all befitting a top-flight PR supremo in her prime. Hence the honour and culinary highlight of being served three-penis wine at last night's banquet. Apparently dog, deer and seal are the constituent parts, literally.
Unfortunately in the silence that followed the toast, the assembled dignitaries could clearly hear Karoline barking "God I haven't had three penises since 1974", before she slid gracefully from her chair. Darren Shapland may have some explaining to do when he gets out here.
And we may have been fired. But 'TPW' is a dead cert for a Taste the Difference launch next spring along with a number of other oriental animal-related delicacies if the Holborn boys want to get their hands on any prime Beijing real estate.
I'll interrupt this despatch from the east to briefly berate M&S for yet another sandwich-related PR stunt. The Man-wich indeed.
"That's another thing I haven't had for years...." said a tired and emotional K before we bundled her off to bed, a badly hummed version of 'Three is a magic number' drifting down the corridor as we left her to sleep it off.
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We're out here to look for crises and issues that may play badly at home. All we can find so far is a brutal dictatorship, child labour, and breaches of basic human rights. So really no different to life back in the P&F office.
Most of the trip has been taken up with "getting Wanchai Ferry" as Chinese rhyming slang has it, with booze galore laid on for "our honoured Sainsbully guests". I suspect that our hosts think we're more important than we actually are.
But K thinks it's all befitting a top-flight PR supremo in her prime. Hence the honour and culinary highlight of being served three-penis wine at last night's banquet. Apparently dog, deer and seal are the constituent parts, literally.
Unfortunately in the silence that followed the toast, the assembled dignitaries could clearly hear Karoline barking "God I haven't had three penises since 1974", before she slid gracefully from her chair. Darren Shapland may have some explaining to do when he gets out here.
And we may have been fired. But 'TPW' is a dead cert for a Taste the Difference launch next spring along with a number of other oriental animal-related delicacies if the Holborn boys want to get their hands on any prime Beijing real estate.
I'll interrupt this despatch from the east to briefly berate M&S for yet another sandwich-related PR stunt. The Man-wich indeed.
"That's another thing I haven't had for years...." said a tired and emotional K before we bundled her off to bed, a badly hummed version of 'Three is a magic number' drifting down the corridor as we left her to sleep it off.
More from this column
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